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I tried to make a mescaline pun, but it was just too sharp for some people to handle!
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Why did the mescaline refuse to fight? It believed in 'peace'ful solutions!
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Why did the mescaline become a detective? It could always get to the point of the case!
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Mescalines – the only substance that can make a cactus look like a cuddly companion. I hugged one, thinking it was my new best friend. Let me tell you, those prickly friendships don't last long. It's like trying to be buddies with a porcupine.
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Mescalines – the hipster cousin of hallucinogens. You know you've hit peak cool when you're hallucinating in an artisanal, small-batch kind of way. 'Oh, you've never done mescalines? It's like regular hallucinations, but with a man bun.'
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Mescalines – Sounds like the name of a band your grandma would accidentally book for her 90th birthday party. 'Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for... The Mescalines!' Next thing you know, they're playing psychedelic rock covers of nursery rhymes.
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Mescalines – they make you feel like you're in a Salvador Dali painting. I took them and ended up trying to have a deep conversation with a melting clock. It was profound until the clock told me it was running out of time.
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Mescalines – the gateway drug to realizing that maybe reality is just a suggestion. I took them and suddenly believed I could communicate with plants. The fern in my living room and I are now pen pals. It's a frondship, really.
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Mescalines – the only drug that makes you question not just reality but also your life choices. I took them at a friend's party, and suddenly I was convinced I should've become a professional yo-yo enthusiast. Because why not?
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Mescalines – the secret ingredient in the universe's cosmic margarita. I took them and suddenly found myself trying to order a drink from a constellation. Let me tell you, the bartender star was terrible at making Mojitos.
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Mescalines – I tried them once. I thought it was a new type of salad dressing. Turns out, it's more like a dressing-down from the universe. I spent the night talking to a cactus, and it turns out, it was a better conversationalist than my ex.
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Mescalines – the only thing that can make a desert seem even more surreal. I took them on a trip to Arizona, and suddenly, I was negotiating with a tumbleweed for life advice. Spoiler alert: the tumbleweed didn't have any.
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