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You ever read the side effects of medication? It's like they're trying to scare you away from being healthy. "This pill may cause dizziness, nausea, and an uncontrollable urge to break into interpretive dance.
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I was at the pharmacy, and the pharmacist asked if I had any drug allergies. I said, "Yeah, I'm allergic to paying for them." Suddenly, my medical condition is "Broke-itis.
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Medical terms are the only words where adding "itis" to the end makes everything sound serious. Suddenly, a sneeze becomes achoo-itis, and you're convinced you have a rare tropical disease.
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You know you're an adult when you start using medical terms in everyday conversations. "I can't make it to lunch today; I have a meeting with my optometrist." Translation: I'm binge-watching Netflix in my pajamas.
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Medical terms make everything sound serious, even the most mundane things. I stubbed my toe the other day, and suddenly I'm self-diagnosing with "Digital Phalange Trauma.
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Medical terms are like secret codes for doctors. They say something in Latin, and we're just nodding along like, "Ah, yes, the ancient language of 'Please just tell me how to fix it.'
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I went to the doctor the other day, and he started using all these complicated medical terms. I felt like I was on a game show, trying to guess the right diagnosis. "Is it A) the common cold, B) alien abduction, or C) a bad case of 'I have no idea what you just said'?
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Have you noticed that medical terms are the only words where Google becomes our best friend? We've all been there, typing in symptoms and praying the search results don't come back with, "Congratulations, you have a rare condition only found in three-legged kangaroos.
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Have you ever noticed how medical terms sound like spells from a wizard's handbook? Like, "Expecto Gastroenteritis!" and suddenly your stomach starts acting up.
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