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Mathematics is like a bad relationship – it's confusing, full of problems, and I'm always trying to figure out why there's an 'X' involved. I mean, come on, even my ex didn't use that much algebra!
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I recently tried to impress my date with some math jokes. I said, 'Are you a 90-degree angle? Because you're looking right!' Turns out, she was acute disappointment, not impressed at all.
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I asked my math teacher for relationship advice. She said, 'If it's not adding up, try subtraction.' So, I tried it, and now I'm single. Turns out, she meant the numbers, not the people.
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I told my friend I'm taking a break from math because it's too 'irrational.' He replied, 'That's a fraction of the truth.' Now I'm convinced my friends are just multiplying my problems.
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You know you're in trouble when your therapist starts using math to analyze your emotional issues. 'Well, if we factor in your childhood trauma and divide it by your fear of commitment, we get... a really messed-up equation.'
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I hate it when people ask, 'When am I ever going to use math in real life?' Well, last week, I used geometry to perfectly stack pizza boxes so they wouldn't fall over. That's some advanced adulting right there!
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I tried to impress my crush by saying, 'You must be the square root of -1 because you're imaginary.' She responded, 'Well, you must be the square root of 64 because you're a perfect 8.' Ouch, that was a real number slap in the face!
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I tried to teach my dog math. I said, 'Fetch the stick, Fido!' He brought back a calculator. Apparently, he's more of a STEM enthusiast than I am.
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You know you're bad at math when you use a calculator to split the bill at a restaurant. I handed it to the waiter and said, 'Can you solve for tip?'
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