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Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything – even lunch excuses!
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My wife told me I should embrace my mistakes. So I hugged her and said, 'I love my wife, but she's wrong sometimes.
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I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.
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I asked the waiter if the restaurant had frog legs. He said, 'No, we always hop around!
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