4 Jokes For Landslide

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jun 22 2024

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You know, I heard about this massive landslide the other day. Now, I'm no expert, but I imagine the ground just decided, "You know what? Today's the day I'm gonna slide down and take everything with me!"
I mean, who wakes up in the morning and thinks, "Ah, today feels like a landslide kind of day!" It's not like the Earth's having a bad hair day and just wants to rearrange things a bit. It's a landslide! The ground's version of a rebellious teenager slamming their door shut.
I wonder what the rocks at the bottom of the hill say. "Oh, here comes another bunch of overachieving dirt clumps!" They must be like, "Seriously, could you not have picked a different route? We've had enough newcomers!
I was reading about this landslide, and it got me thinking - is it just nature's way of hitting the "Reset" button? Like, "Oops, too many trees and rocks here, time to start afresh!"
But the thing about landslides is, they don't discriminate. They're like, "You have a beautiful house on top of the hill? That's cute. Let me introduce you to the valley below!"
I bet people living on hillsides are constantly playing a risky game of, "Is that a suspiciously large rock or just a rock?" They must have trust issues with every pebble they see rolling down.
So, apparently, there are survival tips for landslides. They say to find something sturdy to hold onto. Like, "Yeah, because when the Earth's playing bowling with houses, I'll just cling onto a twig!"
And here's the best part - they advise you to curl into a ball to minimize injuries. I can already imagine it: "Sir, why are you rolling down the hill?" "I'm just following the survival manual!"
I bet after a landslide, there's always that one person who swears they rode it like a surfer on a wave. "Dude, I was practically riding my kitchen table down the hill! It was epic!
Have you seen what a place looks like after a landslide? It's like nature decided to play Tetris with buildings and roads. "Hmm, let's see if this house fits into that crater!"
And the cleanup must be a nightmare. Imagine being the person in charge, trying to explain to your boss: "Yeah, about the road construction delay... the Earth decided it needed redecorating!"
You know what they say though, after every landslide, there's a landslide of paperwork. Insurance claims, rebuilding permits... it's like nature's way of saying, "You thought surviving the landslide was tough? Try dealing with bureaucracy!

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