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I don't get the logic behind Lacoste prices. I mean, you pay a premium for a shirt with a little reptile on it. It's like, the smaller the logo, the more expensive the shirt. It's the only situation where less is not more—it's just more expensive. I'm waiting for the day they come out with the microscopic crocodile collection. "Introducing the Lacoste Nano Edition. Only the truly elite can see it, and it only costs your entire life savings.
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I bought a Lacoste shirt once, thinking it would make me look sophisticated. But wearing Lacoste doesn't magically turn you into James Bond. I put it on, looked in the mirror, and thought, "Wow, this crocodile is not helping me with my student loans." If Lacoste could solve real-life problems, I'd wear it to a job interview and expect the employer to say, "You're hired! That's a mighty fine crocodile you got there.
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You ever notice how fancy people love to wear Lacoste? I mean, it's like they've got this secret society of crocodile enthusiasts. It's not a shirt; it's a membership card! But let me tell you, that little crocodile logo makes people do crazy things. I saw a guy the other day trying to impress his date, and he's like, "Yeah, I wrestled a crocodile once." Dude, you live in the city. The wildest thing you've wrestled is probably with your Wi-Fi connection.
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Wearing Lacoste gives you this false sense of importance. You walk around like you're the king of the jungle, or in this case, the swamp. I tried it once, and suddenly, I felt the need to critique people's tennis serves. I don't even play tennis! It's like Lacoste has this secret power to turn you into a tennis commentator. "Oh, marvelous form, Susan. Your forehand is truly a testament to the triumph of the human spirit.
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