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The Holodeck Programmer
Dealing with Kirk's unexpected program modifications.
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Kirk tried to use the holodeck to recreate his favorite Shakespearean play. The computer couldn't handle the drama, so it just played a laugh track every time he paused.
The Starship Captain
Trying to navigate the cosmos with Kirk's dramatic pauses.
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I asked Kirk for directions, and he said, "Boldly go straight ahead, then veer dramatically to the left, but don't forget to dramatically pause at every intersection.
The Enterprise Janitor
Cleaning up after Kirk's intergalactic messes.
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I asked Kirk if he could sign a birthday card for the crew. He wrote, "May your year be filled with adventures as thrilling as my captain's log." I'm still trying to figure out if that's a good thing or not.
The Redshirt Survivor
Trying not to become Kirk's unintentional sacrifice.
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Kirk claims he never plays favorites with his crew, but every time we land on a new planet, he turns to me and says, "You go first, for exploration purposes... and dramatic effect.
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