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You ever notice how kids these days are like living tech support? I asked my kid the other day, "How do I use this new app?" And he goes, "Yo mama's so old, she still has a phone with buttons!" I'm like, "Thanks for the help, Captain Sassy Pants." Now, when I can't figure out my gadgets, I just call my mom and say, "Yo mama, help me update my Facebook. I think it's still in black and white.
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These kids and their texting, it's like a whole new language. My daughter sent me a message saying, "Yo mama's texting is so slow, by the time she replies, I've already graduated." I told her, "Well, yo mama's so patient, she'll wait for your grandkids to send a text back." Now, I deliberately take my time replying, just to mess with her. It's like a slow-motion text-off, and I'm the reigning champion.
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You know, kids have this unique talent for dishing out parenting advice. I overheard my son telling his friend, "Yo mama's so strict, when she says 'no,' Siri says 'I can't help you with that.'" I thought, "Well, at least Siri recognizes authority." Now, whenever my kid tries to lecture me on parenting, I just say, "Yo mama's so wise, even Google searches for her advice.
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Kids today, they think they know everything, especially about cooking. My teenager walked into the kitchen the other day and said, "Yo mama's cooking is so bad, even the smoke alarm cheers when it finally stops." I told him, "Listen, Mr. Gordon Ramsay, the last time you cooked, the only thing edible was the fire extinguisher." Now, every time he offers to cook, I order takeout just to be safe.
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