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Toy Stores
The battle between what your kid wants and what won't make you bankrupt
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I took my kid to a toy store, and he wanted this toy that cost a fortune. I said, "Do you know what we can buy for that amount? A year's supply of broccoli. You know, the real forbidden treasure.
School Events
Balancing support for your child with the desire to avoid awkward encounters with other parents
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The school talent show is a real test of parental love. You sit through hours of off-key singing and questionable dance moves just to catch a glimpse of your kid playing the triangle for five seconds. It's like winning the lottery, but the prize is earplugs.
Homework Time
The fine line between helping and doing the entire project for them
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My kid asked for help with his history homework, and I found myself questioning my own education. "Son, did they have the internet during the Renaissance? Because that's where I'd usually look for this stuff.
Kids' TV Shows
Keeping it educational vs. keeping it entertaining
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Kids' shows are so obsessed with teaching sharing. If they really want to prepare kids for the real world, they should have an episode about how to share a Netflix account without getting caught.
Parent-Teacher Meetings
The delicate balance between honesty and not getting your child grounded for life
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I tried being honest during a parent-teacher meeting once. I told the teacher, "Look, I can barely help him with his homework. I Googled 'common core math' and ended up more confused than ever. Can you teach me first?
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