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Juggalos are the only group of people who can turn a quiet library into a raging mosh pit just by accidentally dropping their mixtape. Librarians hate them, but secretly envy their ability to bring life to the Dewey Decimal System.
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Juggalos are like human GPS systems for each other. "Yeah, just take a left at the guy with the face paint and follow the trail of empty soda bottles. You can't miss it.
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You know you're at a Juggalo party when the punch is just Faygo and a hint of face paint.
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Juggalos are the only group of people who can turn a family picnic into a full-blown carnival with just some face paint, a few liters of soda, and a boombox blasting "Miracles.
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Juggalos have their own version of a potluck dinner. Instead of bringing food, everyone brings their favorite ICP lyrics to share. Spoiler alert: "Magnets, how do they work?" is still a topic of heated debate.
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I went to a Juggalo wedding recently. Instead of throwing rice, they threw mini bottles of Faygo. The bride and groom left the ceremony drenched in soda, but at least it was a refreshing start to their marriage.
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Juggalos have their own secret handshake. It's not really a handshake; it's more like a vigorous shake of a two-liter bottle of soda before spraying it everywhere.
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I tried to join the Juggalo fan club, but the initiation process involved juggling flaming bowling pins while rapping about the mysteries of the Dark Carnival. I decided to just stick with the newsletter.
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I tried to teach my grandma about Juggalos, and now she insists on painting her face before playing bingo at the senior center. The other grannies are very confused.
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