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Why do jockeys make terrible chefs? They always horse around in the kitchen!
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Why did the jockey take a pencil to the race? Because he wanted to draw even!
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Why was the jockey a terrible comedian? His jokes always fell at the final hurdle!
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Why did the jockey never get lost? Because he always knew the way to the mane event!
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Why was the jockey always the life of the party? Because he had the reins!
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How do jockeys stay cool during a race? They always have a 'stable' temperament!
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I saw a jockey at the gym doing squats with weights on his back. I thought, 'That's a weird way to prepare for a horse race... unless he's training for a human-horseback marathon!'
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The other day, I tried horseback riding. They asked me if I had experience. I said, 'Of course! I was a jockey in a past life... in my dreams!'
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You know you're in trouble when your jockey starts giving you tips on speed dating, saying, 'It's all about getting off to a quick start out the gate!'
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I tried to impress a jockey by saying, 'I know a thing or two about horses!' He replied, 'Yeah, well, I know a thing or two about flying without wings!'
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I thought about becoming a jockey, but my legs said, 'No way!' They were like, 'We're built for sprinting to the fridge, not the racetrack!'
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I told a jockey I wanted to ride a horse. He asked if I had experience. I said, 'I played a lot of 'Red Dead Redemption.' He looked at me and said, 'So you're an expert button pusher?'
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I asked a jockey about the secret to winning races. He said, 'It's all about strategy.' Then he whispered, 'And a sprinkle of fairy dust in the horse's oats!'
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I met a jockey who was always full of himself. He said, 'I'm a big deal in the horse racing world!' I told him, 'Yeah, but only from the waist up!'
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I saw a jockey applying for a job as a flight attendant. I thought, 'Well, they're used to turbulence, but I don't know if they're ready for this kind of horsepower!'
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