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James Dean was all about living fast and dying young. I tried living fast once, but I got a speeding ticket, and now I'm just trying to live moderately and pay off that fine. Not quite as glamorous, but hey, I've got bills to pay.
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James Dean had that iconic look with the leather jacket and tousled hair. I tried pulling off the same look once, and people just asked if I was auditioning for a low-budget remake of "Grease" or if I had just wrestled with a wind turbine.
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Imagine James Dean on social media. His posts would be like, "Just raced my car down an empty highway. #LivingOnTheEdge" Meanwhile, I'm over here posting pictures of my lunch, trying to make a sandwich look as cool as a '50s sports car.
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You ever notice how James Dean is like the OG rebel without a cause? I mean, nowadays, if someone doesn't have a cause, we just call them unemployed. James was just ahead of his time, job-wise.
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James Dean, the man who said, "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." I tried that once, and my boss wasn't too thrilled when I handed in my resignation letter and said, "I'm just living by James Dean's philosophy, man.
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James Dean's tragic car crash is the stuff of legend. Meanwhile, my car struggles to make it up a steep hill without sounding like it's about to give up on life. I call it the "struggle bus with a manual transmission.
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You ever think about how James Dean would handle modern technology? I can imagine him rolling up to a gas station and asking, "Do you guys still have those giant maps, or is everything on this tiny glowing screen now?
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James Dean's famous for his quote, "Only the gentle are ever really strong." Meanwhile, I'm over here struggling to open a pickle jar, wondering if I need to channel my inner James Dean to conquer the kitchen.
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James Dean had that whole brooding, mysterious vibe. If I tried that, people would probably assume I'm just constipated. "Why's that guy always brooding in the corner?" "Oh, he just needs more fiber in his diet.
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