10 Jokes For Hollander

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Sep 01 2024

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I've got this neighbor who's a real hollander. If they put half the effort into their job that they put into monitoring the comings and goings of our street, they'd be the CEO of the company by now. Maybe I should start a "Best Surveillance Employee" award.
The other day, my hollander neighbor tried to strike up a conversation about the mysterious package I received. They were convinced it was some undercover operation. Sorry to disappoint, but it was just a new blender. Not every delivery is a top-secret spy gadget.
I overheard my hollander neighbor talking about a community watch program. I didn't know we had one. I guess the only criminals in our area are the ones who forget to bring their trash cans back in after pickup day.
I asked my hollander neighbor if they ever considered becoming a detective. They said they're happy just solving the mysteries of who stole the neighbor's newspaper and why the Johnsons have so many packages. It's like living in a real-life, low-stakes Sherlock Holmes novel.
I tried having a barbecue in my backyard, and the hollander next door was peering over the fence like it was the grand opening of a mystery novel. I felt like I should charge them an entry fee or at least offer them a burger.
I think my neighbor is secretly a hollander superhero. Instead of fighting crime, they fight the epidemic of unwatered lawns and unkempt hedges. "Fear not, citizens! I've come to ensure your garden gnomes are standing tall.
I was at the supermarket the other day, and I swear, the hollander in aisle six had radar for discounted items. They could spot a sale from three aisles away. I almost started following them for shopping tips.
You know you've got a hollander in your neighborhood when they can tell you the schedule of the mail carrier better than the mail carrier themselves. "Oh, here comes Dave. He's five minutes late today. Something's up.
I've started a game in my neighborhood called "Spot the Hollander." It's like Where's Waldo, but instead of a striped shirt, they're wearing a bathrobe and holding binoculars. Spoiler alert: They're always on the corner.
You ever notice how every neighborhood has that one person, the ultimate hollander? They peek through their curtains like they're auditioning for the nosy neighbor role in a sitcom. I'm starting to think they have a PhD in window espionage.

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