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You know you're an adult when you start assessing the weight of things before hoisting them. "Is this grocery bag a two-tripper, or can I ninja my way up the stairs with all of them in one go?
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The tricky part about hoisting is that it's the only workout where your success is directly proportionate to your ability to pretend you know what you're doing. "Oh, this dresser? No problem, just testing my biceps' superhero strength.
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Hoisting is like the unsung hero of chores. You start with a confident lift, but by the third box of old books, you're negotiating with inanimate objects, like, "Come on, box, we've been through a lot together. Let's not make this awkward.
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I once tried to impress my date by effortlessly hoisting a heavy object. Little did I know that "effortless" would be an exaggeration, and the real date highlight would be my impeccable recovery as I stumbled backward, proving that gravity still holds a grudge.
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Have you ever noticed that the act of hoisting is like the adult version of being lifted as a kid? Only now, instead of giggles and joy, it's more like, "Hold on, I think I left my back on the ground.
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I swear, my neighbor's skill at hoisting is the envy of the entire street. I suspect he secretly moonlights as a superhero, rescuing stranded furniture in the dead of night. "Fear not, citizens! Captain Hoist is here!
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Have you ever tried to hoist something heavy with an audience? It's like your own private Cirque du Soleil performance, complete with suspenseful music in your head and a dramatic pause before the triumphant lift. Ta-da!
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Hoisting is the art of making everything fit into your car, like playing a life-sized game of Tetris. "No, honey, we can't bring the piano; it doesn't rotate or slide into place.
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Hoisting is the real-world application of geometry. Suddenly, those high school math classes make sense. "If I angle the couch at 45 degrees and pivot on my left foot, I should be able to navigate the narrow hallway without causing a structural collapse.
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