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The Smart Home Device
Misinterpreting casual conversations as a call for emergency Heimlich assistance
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My owner said, "I can't swallow this idea," and I started preparing for a Heimlich rescue. Turns out, they were just talking about a business proposal. It's tough being a helpful device in a world full of metaphors.
The Failed Heimlich Rescuer
Always mistiming the Heimlich, making situations more awkward
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I tried to impress my crush by showcasing my Heimlich skills when they mentioned feeling suffocated by work. Let's just say they weren't impressed, and HR had to get involved. Turns out, not everyone appreciates a workplace Heimlich demonstration.
The Heimlich Maneuver Instructor
Teaching the Heimlich Maneuver in an awkward way
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Teaching the Heimlich is like a delicate dance. You have to find the right balance between saving a life and not getting slapped with a lawsuit for inappropriate touching. It's like, "Congratulations, you're breathing! Now please don't sue me.
The Clumsy Heimlich Recipient
Always finding non-life-threatening situations to get the Heimlich Maneuver
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I'm considering taking up a career as a professional Heimlich recipient. I'll tour restaurants, attending fancy events, and just lurk in the background. My tagline will be, "Choke on your food, so I don't have to choke on my bills.
The Paranoid Choking Victim
Overthinking every bite because of fear of choking
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I ordered soup the other day, and when it arrived, I asked the waiter for a Heimlich refresher, just in case. The waiter looked at me like, "Sir, it's a liquid. You can't choke on soup." And I said, "You underestimate my talent for finding new and creative ways to panic.
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