4 Jokes For Graphic

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 27 2024

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You know, I was browsing the internet the other day, and I stumbled upon something labeled as "graphic content." Now, I consider myself a pretty tough person, but whenever I see those two words together, I can't help but feel a shiver down my spine. It's like a warning sign saying, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!"
I clicked on it, of course. I'm not proud of it, but curiosity got the better of me. And let me tell you, it was just a recipe video. A recipe! I was expecting a horror movie or some crazy action scene, but no, it was just a chef chopping onions in extreme slow motion. I mean, come on! I wanted drama, not dinner preparation tips!
I have a friend who's a graphic designer, and let me tell you, their life is a constant struggle. They can't enjoy anything without critiquing the font or color scheme. We went to a restaurant once, and instead of ordering food, they started giving the menu a redesign. I had to remind them that Helvetica doesn't belong on a dessert menu.
And don't get me started on movie nights. We tried watching a horror film, and all they could talk about was the lack of creativity in the blood splatter effects. I'm just trying to enjoy a scary movie, and they're over there grading the CGI blood. It's like having your own personal movie critic, but instead of thumbs up or down, it's all about the pixels.
So, I recently decided to dip my toes into the world of online dating. It's like online shopping, but instead of a new gadget, you're trying to find someone who won't steal your fries when you're not looking. Now, the profiles can get pretty graphic, and not in the way you might think.
I came across this one profile that said, "I'm looking for someone with a graphic sense of humor." What does that even mean? Do I need to Photoshop a joke onto a picture and send it to her? Maybe add some special effects? It's like dating has become a design competition, and I'm over here with stick-figure jokes.
I love graphic tees; they let you express your personality without saying a word. But sometimes, I think these shirts are trying too hard to be deep. I saw a guy wearing a shirt that said, "Life is an open book." I thought, "Wow, that's profound." So, I asked him what chapter he was on, and he said, "I don't read." Well, then, buddy, your shirt is a lie!
And ladies, beware of guys wearing shirts with wolves howling at the moon. It might seem mysterious and romantic, but in reality, they're probably howling because they can't find their car in the mall parking lot. I mean, come on, wolves are supposed to be navigational experts.

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