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Going to jail is the only place where breaking the ice involves trading cigarettes instead of awkward small talk. "Hey, I heard you like menthols. Wanna be friends?
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I bet if you asked Siri for directions to jail, she'd say, "In 500 feet, turn left at the courthouse. If you reach freedom, you've gone too far.
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I recently got a new GPS that gives me the option for the scenic route or the jailbreak route. Apparently, they've added a feature for those who like a bit of adrenaline in their commute.
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You ever notice how the phrase "go to jail" sounds like a really aggressive game of Monopoly? "Oh, you landed on Park Place without a hotel? Go to jail! Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Monopoly's turning into the real estate Hunger Games!
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Going to jail is like being in a low-budget reality show. "Tonight on 'Life Behind Bars,' our contestants will try to survive another day without Wi-Fi and decent coffee. Stay tuned for the drama!
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Have you ever noticed how we never question the monopoly guy for sending everyone to jail? I mean, he's basically the landlord version of Judge Judy. "You rolled a double, and now you'll pay the price! Court is in session, and your game piece is guilty!
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You know you're an adult when you start considering jail as a viable retirement plan. "I hear the food is not great, but at least they take care of your housing situation. Plus, free gym membership!
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Going to jail is like a surprise vacation, but instead of a beach, you get a small room with bars. "Congratulations, you've won an all-expense-paid trip to... the slammer! Pack your toothbrush and your remorse.
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Jail is like a time-out for grown-ups. "Oh, you were naughty? Enjoy some quality time in your adult playpen with concrete walls. Hope you've brushed up on your handball skills!
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