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Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone's gloating when they're explaining something you already know? It's like, "Congratulations, Captain Obvious! I was aware of that fact before you even started your victory lap.
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You ever notice how quickly a gloating session can turn into a humble pie-eating contest? One minute you're riding high on your own achievements, and the next, you're choking on your own words.
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Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who's in the middle of gloating? It's like trying to watch a movie while someone keeps hitting the pause button just to explain how awesome they are.
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You ever win at a board game with that one friend who turns into a gloating monster? "Oh, what's that? I just landed on Park Place! Bow before me, mere mortals!" Chill, Gary, it's Monopoly, not Game of Thrones.
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You know what's funny about gloating? It's the human version of a peacock showing off its feathers. "Look at me, I did the thing!" And we're all just standing there thinking, "Wow, that's... incredibly humble of you.
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The funniest part about gloating is when someone brags about something that's not even impressive. "Oh, you tied your own shoes? With laces? And everything? Someone give this person a trophy!
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You know what's ironic about gloating? It's that the more you do it, the smaller you seem. It's like trying to fill a bucket with water while poking holes in the bottom. Sure, you might make a splash, but you're still losing in the end.
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The thing I've learned about gloating is that it's a lot like eating spicy food. It feels great at first, but eventually, you're left with a burning sensation and the regret of not having a glass of milk handy.
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You ever notice how people act when they're gloating? It's like they've just discovered they're the main character in their own movie. "Oh, look at me, I guessed the right flavor of jellybean! I am the oracle of our time!
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