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Joke Types
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What do you call a glass eye that's also a comedian? A real eye-stand-up guy!
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Why did the glass eye enroll in acting school? It wanted to be in the 'eye-dol' business!
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Why did the glass eye start a band? It wanted to be part of a cornea-copia of music!
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What did one glass eye say to the other? 'Between you and me, our vision is eye-ronic!
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Why did the glass eye apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to be the apple of the pie!
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What's a glass eye's favorite type of movie? Anything in 3D – it really pops!
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What's a glass eye's favorite type of music? Anything by the band 'Eye, Eye, Captain!
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I heard they're making a movie about a detective with a glass eye. It's a real eye-spy thriller!
Discount Vision Plans
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I tried to get a discount on my glasses because, you know, one of them is technically a lens. Turns out, eye doctors don't appreciate when you ask for a discount because you only need half the prescription. I mean, come on, it's just basic math!
The Detective's Dilemma
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I thought about becoming a detective with my glass eye. You know, I'd be the ultimate undercover agent. The only problem is, I can't seem to master the art of the discreet surveillance when I'm constantly turning my head to keep an eye on things.
The Misadventures of Mr. Winky
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The other day, I caught my glass eye winking at someone. I swear, it's got a mind of its own. I thought I was being smooth, but it turns out my eye has better game than I do. Now I'm just hoping it doesn't start flirting with my dentist during my next checkup.
Eye Scream, You Scream
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I went to an ice cream parlor the other day, and the server asked if I wanted my scoop in a cone or a cup. I said, In my eye, please. The poor kid nearly dropped the ice cream scoop. I guess not everyone appreciates a good eye-scream cone.
Eye Poppin' Adventure
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You know, I recently got a glass eye. It's like having a built-in party trick. I just pop it out at social gatherings, and suddenly, I'm the eye-catching life of the party. Though, the first time I did it, my grandma fainted. Not the reaction I was hoping for, but hey, at least I got a cool story out of it.
Glass Eye, the Ultimate Poker Face
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Having a glass eye is like having the ultimate poker face. No one can read you! I played poker with my buddies, and every time I had a bad hand, I just popped out the glass eye and stared at them. They were so busy trying to figure out if I was bluffing or just had a bad case of dry eyes.
The Eye Spy Game
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I've started playing this new game with my glass eye. It's called Eye Spy, and let me tell you, it's a whole different level of espionage. I tried it at the airport security once. They were so confused when I said, I spy with my little eye something that begins with 'X'. TSA did not appreciate the humor.
Eye-Q Test Confusion
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I took an eye exam the other day, and the doctor was like, Read the bottom line. I confidently said, E, F, P, D, Q, and the emoji with the sunglasses. He wasn't amused. Apparently, that last one wasn't on the chart.
Glass Eye Dating Woes
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Trying to explain my glass eye to someone on a date is always an adventure. I told my date, I see the world from a unique perspective. She said, Is that a metaphor or a pickup line? I just shrugged and said, It's a vision thing. Needless to say, she didn't see a second date in our future.
Glass Eye Upgrade
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I asked the eye doctor if I could get a high-definition glass eye. You know, something with a little more resolution. He just looked at me and said, Sir, this is not an Apple Store. Well, excuse me for wanting a crystal-clear view of my awkward social situations.
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