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Why don't fish ever tell secrets? Because they'll always come out of their mouths!
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Why did the man bring a ladder to the fishing pond? Because he heard the fish were up a scale!
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Why did the man never share his fish with the ocean? Because the sea never gave him any fin return!
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Why don't fish ever get caught lying? Because they always scale the truth!
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I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. Now I'm a fisherman – I'm all about that net income!
Fishy Business Negotiations
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So, you give a man a fish, and suddenly he thinks he's mastered the art of negotiation. I tried it at work the other day. My boss was like, We need those reports by Friday, and I'm like, Sure, but first, how about a nice trout? Let's just say I'm no longer in charge of deadlines.
Fish Whisperer
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Give a man a fish, they say. Well, I tried that once, and now my neighbor thinks I'm some kind of fish whisperer. Every time he has a barbecue, he invites me over and hands me a fishing rod. I'm like, Dude, I can't talk to fish; I just have a good seafood market nearby!
The Fishing Dilemma
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You know, they say, Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. But have you ever tried explaining that to a guy who just got handed a fish? He's probably thinking, Great, now what? Do I cook it? Keep it as a pet? Teach it to do tricks? It's like getting a surprise responsibility. Thanks, but I was hoping for a sandwich!
Fish in a Classroom
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They say, Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime. Well, I tried teaching a man to fish once. It turns out, he thought it was a biology class, and he wanted to dissect the fish. Needless to say, my fishing school didn't last long.
Fish Olympics
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So, I took the advice to heart and gave my buddy a fish. Now he's training it for the Fish Olympics. He's got it doing flips, jumps, and even synchronized swimming. I'm just waiting for the day he puts on a tiny fish-sized tracksuit and starts coaching it like a drill sergeant.
Fish Fortune Telling
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Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Well, I gave my friend a fish, and now he's convinced it's a fortune-telling fish. He asks it life-altering questions like, Should I take that job? and waits for it to flop around. I swear, it's the world's least reliable magic eight-ball.
Fishy Fashion Statements
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So, I tried the whole give a man a fish thing, but I think I misunderstood. I handed my friend a fish, and now he's trying to make it a fashion statement. He walks around with it on a leash, calling it his fin-tastic accessory. I've unintentionally started a fish couture trend.
Fish and Relationships
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They say, Give a man a fish, but nobody talks about the relationship implications. I tried it with my girlfriend, and now she's expecting fish-related gifts for every occasion. Valentine's Day? Fish. Anniversary? Fish. I can't wait for my birthday; I'm probably getting a fish-shaped cake.
Fishy Philosophy
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Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll sit in a boat drinking beer all day, claiming he's contemplating the deeper meaning of life. It's like, dude, you're not Socrates; you're just avoiding doing the dishes.
The Fish Intervention
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Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. But what they don't tell you is that if you keep giving him fish every day, his friends and family will stage a fish intervention. They'll be like, Bob, we need to talk. You can't live off handouts from the seafood aisle at the grocery store!
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