4 Girls To Use On Guys Jokes

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Feb 01 2025

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You know, someone handed me a list of "girls to use on guys." I was intrigued because I thought, "Finally, the cheat codes to the game of dating!" So, I'm looking at this list, and it's got things like "playfully touch his arm" and "laugh at his jokes." Seriously? That's it? I've been decoding hieroglyphics here, and all I needed was a high-five and a chuckle? It's like dating is a game of Monopoly, and suddenly I find out I've been stuck in the 'Go to Jail' square for years. I've been overcomplicating things. Ladies, if you're holding out on secret techniques, just share the manual already!
So, according to these notes, one of the tactics is the classic hair flip. Apparently, it's a move that drives guys wild. Ladies, you're telling me that centuries of evolution, technological advancements, and the internet can all be trumped by a well-executed hair toss? It's like we're living in the age of spaceships, and my romantic strategy is straight out of a black-and-white movie. "Casablanca 2: The Curl Chronicles." Honestly, at this point, I feel like I should be carrying around a wind machine just to add that extra flair to my hair flip. If only attracting guys were as easy as flipping a switch!
I got these notes on "girls to use on guys," and one of them says, "Use lots of emojis in your texts." Now, don't get me wrong, I love emojis. But, seriously, is this the key to a guy's heart? I can just imagine a conversation: "Hey, how was your day?" 🌈🐱❤️ Like, is that the secret language of love now? I tried it, and let me tell you, decoding that message was like trying to figure out a Rubik's Cube blindfolded. I mean, what's next? Morse code through Snapchat filters? I just want a conversation, not a game of Pictionary with hieroglyphic smiley faces.
So, the notes suggest that laughing at a guy's jokes is a surefire way to win his heart. Really? I mean, sure, laughter is the best medicine, but are we running a comedy clinic now? I'm imagining this scenario: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" (Laughs hysterically) "Oh, you're such a comedic genius!" It's like we've reduced ourselves to laugh-track sitcoms. Next, we'll be selling tickets to our dates and rating them on a scale of one to five stars. I mean, I love a good laugh, but I don't want my relationship to be sponsored by Netflix specials.

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