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Every time I see a new razor from Gillette, I'm waiting for the day they introduce a razor blade with WiFi. Because clearly, the one thing missing from my shaving experience is the ability to download a podcast mid-shave.
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Have you ever tried buying a generic razor? It's like betraying a cult. The moment you pick up something without "Gillette" on it, it's like your bathroom mirror fogs up and writes, "You've made a grave mistake.
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You ever notice how Gillette has multiple blades on their razors now? What's next? A razor with so many blades it starts offering financial advice? "Smooth shave today, financial advice tomorrow!
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I was shaving the other day, and I thought, "What if Gillette secretly owns all the beard-growing supplements? It's the perfect business model: create the problem, sell the solution, and remind us who's boss with that ever-present logo.
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It's funny, isn't it? You buy a pack of razors and it's like you're signing up for a subscription of mini "Gillette" billboards in your bathroom. "Just in case you forget who's helping you not look like a caveman!
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It's like Gillette has a monopoly on our morning routine. I wouldn't be surprised if one day they introduced a razor that not only shaves but also brews your morning coffee. "Wake up and smell the smoothness!
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I swear, the "Gillette" logo is like that friend who just can't stop talking about themselves. Every swipe, every shave, there it is, as if saying, "Hey, remember me? I'm the reason you're not a Yeti.
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I once tried a different razor brand. Big mistake. After one use, my reflection looked like I had a run-in with a feral cat. Gillette, you win. Take my money, just please restore order to my face!
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