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Why did the gifted artist carry a pencil and eraser to the party? In case they made any 'mistakes'!
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Why did the gifted chef always bring measuring spoons to the restaurant? To 'spoon' out the perfect dishes!
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Why did the gifted mathematician bring a ruler to bed? To measure their dreams!
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Why did the gifted inventor always carry a notebook? To 'write' down all their bright ideas!
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Why did the gifted student bring a ladder to school? Because they wanted to reach new heights in their studies!
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Why did the gifted musician always carry a tuning fork? To 'orchestrate' perfect harmony wherever they went!
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Why did the gifted athlete always bring a stopwatch to parties? To keep track of their 'running' jokes!
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I got a 'gifted' plant once. They said it was low-maintenance. I named it Lazarus because, no matter how much I neglected it, that thing kept coming back to life. It's the cockroach of the plant world, I swear.
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I once received a 'gifted' self-help book titled 'How to Live in the Moment.' The irony is, I spent the entire day worrying about whether I was reading it right. Maybe I need a book on 'How to Read a Self-Help Book.'
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I have a friend who's so 'gifted' at wrapping presents, they could make a crumpled-up newspaper look like a luxury gift. Meanwhile, my wrapping skills make it seem like the gift went through a tornado before reaching its destination.
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I'm so 'gifted' that I can unwrap a present with my eyes closed. Of course, it helps when the wrapping paper is loud enough to wake up the neighbors. Sorry, folks, no surprise parties for me—I can hear you plotting from a mile away!
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I received a 'gifted' puzzle last Christmas. It had a thousand pieces, and by the time I finished it, I realized the picture was just a coupon for therapy. I guess they knew I'd need it after hours of staring at tiny pieces of sky.
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My parents think they're 'gifted' at technology because they finally figured out how to use emojis. Now, every text looks like a hieroglyphic puzzle. I got one yesterday that said, 'Dinner 🍴 at 7 🕖, don't be late ⌚, love you 🥰.' I feel like I'm decoding the Da Vinci Code just to make plans.
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They say it's the thought that counts, but I'm starting to worry about the thoughts behind some of these gifts. Last year, someone gave me a pet rock. I mean, really? Is this a present or an archaeological artifact?
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Gifted, or just really good at re-gifting? I once got a present so recycled, it still had a 'Happy Birthday' tag on it. Thanks for the 2-in-1 deal, Grandma!
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My significant other told me they got me something 'gifted' for our anniversary. Turned out it was a DIY home improvement kit. Nothing says romance like a weekend of arguing over which end of the hammer to use.
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