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The Paranoid
When you're convinced that every sound from the fireplace is a sign of impending doom.
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Thought I heard a voice whispering from the fireplace. Turns out, it was just Siri, trying to be helpful. "I noticed you're sitting by the fire. Would you like me to find the nearest therapist?
The Pet Owner
When your furry friend thinks the fireplace is a portal to another dimension.
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Bought a fancy pet bed to put by the fireplace. My dog took one look at it and decided the $200 bed is now his personal sacrifice to the fire gods. Spoiler alert: the fire gods are not pleased.
The Romantic
When your romantic evening by the fireplace goes wrong because of unexpected interruptions.
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You ever try feeding each other marshmallows by the fire? It's all fun and games until your partner's marshmallow becomes a flaming projectile. It's like playing catch, but with third-degree burns.
The Chef
When your attempt at cooking by the fireplace turns into a culinary disaster.
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Thought I'd impress my date by grilling steaks by the fireplace. Who knew that the smell of burning hair wasn't an aphrodisiac? I should have realized something was wrong when my hair went up in flames before the steaks did.
The DIY Enthusiast
When your attempt to build a DIY fireplace turns into a disaster.
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I thought I'd be the Bob Ross of fireplaces, you know, happy little flames dancing in the night. Instead, I created a bonfire that could rival a Metallica concert. Turns out, fire safety is not a paint-by-numbers situation.
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