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Fire extinguishers are like the grown-up version of a security blanket. You see one, and suddenly you feel safer, even if there's no fire in sight. I wish I could carry one around everywhere. Someone cuts in line? Pull out the extinguisher. Bad date? Extinguisher time! It's the ultimate problem-solver.
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You ever notice how fire extinguishers always have those complicated instructions? It's like, "In case of fire, remain calm, locate the extinguisher, pull the pin, aim at the base of the flames." I'm over here thinking, "Can't it just be 'point and shoot' like a camera? I don't need a fire extinguisher, I need a firefighter cheat code!
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You ever accidentally set off a fire extinguisher? It's like a surprise party, but instead of confetti, you get a face full of white powder. I did it once, and now I'm convinced my fire extinguisher has a grudge. Every time I walk by, I can almost hear it whispering, "Remember that time you burned popcorn? Powdery payback!
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You ever notice how fire extinguishers are always in the most inconvenient places when you need them? It's like they're playing hide and seek. "Oh, you're on fire? Let me just hide behind this giant potted plant. Good luck finding me, and try not to burn the ficus!
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Fire extinguishers have the most optimistic packaging. "For use on all types of fires," it says. Really? I want to see a fire extinguisher tackle a metaphorical life fire, like a bad breakup or a Monday morning. "Step aside, emotions, I've got this!
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Ever notice how fire extinguishers are always red? It's like they want to stand out and say, "I'm the hero in the room!" But what if they were more discreet, like camouflage extinguishers? Imagine a floral patterned one that blends into your wallpaper. "Oh, that? It's just a decorative vase. And also, a lifesaver.
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Fire extinguishers are the unsung heroes of the workplace. They're just sitting there on the wall, waiting for their moment. It's like they're saying, "I may not have a cape, but I'm ready to save the day. Just pull my pin, and let's extinguish some drama!
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Fire extinguishers are the original multitaskers. They put out fires, and they also make for excellent impromptu weightlifting equipment. Trying to impress someone at the office gym? Just stroll in with a fire extinguisher, and watch as your colleagues give you a newfound respect.
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Have you ever read the expiration date on a fire extinguisher? I did, and now I'm convinced they have trust issues. It's like, "I'm here for you, but only until 2023. After that, you're on your own. I can't commit to a lifetime of firefighting!
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