10 Jokes For Ex Husband

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jun 15 2025

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You ever look at your ex-husband's new girlfriend and think, "Wow, she's got her work cut out for her." Good luck, honey, may the odds be ever in your favor!
Ex-husbands are like those expired coupons you find at the bottom of your purse. You forget about them until they pop up at the most inconvenient times.
Ex-husbands have this magical ability to remember every anniversary, but conveniently forget how to take out the trash. It's like selective memory with a sprinkle of laziness.
Ex-husbands are like those mystery novels you can't put down, except instead of solving a thrilling case, you're just trying to figure out where he left his common sense.
They say time heals all wounds, but with ex-husbands, it's more like time gives you the clarity to see just how much you overpaid for that "limited edition" model.
You ever notice how "ex-husband" sounds like a title you earn, like graduating from college? Except instead of a diploma, you get an alimony bill!
Have you ever tried to return an ex-husband? "Sorry, this item is no longer in its original condition, and we can't accept it." I should've kept the receipt!
You know, they say love is blind, but divorce? That's 20/20 vision, my friends. Suddenly, you see every little thing you used to ignore, like his inability to put a dish in the dishwasher.
Remember when you first met your ex-husband, and he was all about "forever and always"? Now, he's more like "maybe for the weekend, if I'm not busy.
You know you've moved on from your ex-husband when his name no longer triggers your phone's autocorrect to "idiot." Progress!

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