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The Disgruntled Roommate
Living with a roommate who's always on the verge of eviction
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I told my roommate he needs to pay his share of the rent, and he said, "Rent? I thought you said 'rant'! I've been practicing my dramatic monologues for the eviction episode!
The Landlord
Dealing with troublesome tenants
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Evicting someone is like breaking up, but instead of dividing up the CDs and deciding who keeps the cat, you're arguing over who gets the security deposit and who's responsible for that mysterious stain in the living room.
The Unemployed Couch Surfer
Couch surfing without wearing out your welcome
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I'm not homeless; I'm just "location independent." It's like a vacation that never ends, and instead of souvenirs, I collect eviction notices.
The Pest Control Guy
Trying to get rid of unwanted house guests
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Trying to evict pests is like trying to negotiate with tiny, six-legged diplomats. I put out a sign that said, "No Vacancy," and they responded by organizing a protest in my cereal box.
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