4 Jokes For Enlarge

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 28 2024

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You ever notice how everything these days is about enlargement? It's like society collectively decided that bigger is always better. I mean, I get it, size matters, but can we just calm down for a second? I recently bought a TV, and the guy at the store was like, "Sir, you've got to go big, go for the largest screen you can afford!" So, I bought this monstrous TV that practically takes up my entire living room. Now, every time I watch a movie, it feels like I'm sitting in the front row of a cinema. I miss my old cozy TV that fit in the corner without demanding its own ZIP code.
Have you noticed how our culture is obsessed with enlargement? They've got pills that claim to enlarge everything from your muscles to, well, you know. I saw an ad the other day for "enlargement gum." I mean, seriously? Who wants to chew their way to greatness? I tried it once, and now I've got the jaw strength of a professional wrestler, but my breath could knock out a rhino. I guess that's the price you pay for wanting to be larger than life.
It seems like everyone is on a quest for enlargement these days. I went to a coffee shop, and they asked if I wanted to "enlarge" my drink for just a dollar more. I thought, "Sure, why not?" Next thing I know, I'm holding a coffee mug that's bigger than my head. I felt like I was on an episode of 'Honey, I Enlarged the Beverage!' I can't finish that thing even if I had a team of professional coffee drinkers helping me out.
You know what they say, be careful what you wish for. I decided to try out this "enlargement diet" everyone's talking about. They promised I'd become a giant among men. Well, I did grow taller, but now I have to duck under door frames, and finding clothes that fit is like searching for a needle in a haystack. I mean, I asked for enlargement, not a role in a low-budget giant movie. I guess I'll just have to embrace the fact that being larger than life might mean a few bumps on the head along the way.

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