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The Paranoid Neighbor
Convinced the doorknob is plotting against them
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My neighbor thinks my doorknob is part of a secret society. They said, 'Every night, it gathers with other doorknobs to discuss the door-to-door conspiracy.' I didn't have the heart to tell them it's just a hardware store support group.
The Forgetful Time Traveler
Keeps forgetting whether they locked the door in the present or the future
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My friends asked me why I don't just get a smart lock. I told them, 'I need a lock that understands time travel logic. Like, 'Unlock for the past, lock for the future, and be cool if someone from the 1800s shows up!'
The Comedian Living Alone
Uses the doorknob as a sounding board for their jokes
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I realized my doorknob is the only one who truly understands my jokes. It's seen me bombing so many times; it's practically a comedy bomb shelter. And hey, laughter is the best WD-40 for the soul!
The Forgetful Homeowner
Constantly forgetting to lock the door
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I got a smart lock to solve my forgetfulness. Now my doorknob is smarter than me. It's like the doorknob version of having a PhD in 'not getting locked out of your own house.'
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