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I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, 'Nothing would make her happier.' I don't know why she's mad at me now; I followed her advice!
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I don't know if my computer has artificial intelligence, but it definitely has real attitude.
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I don't know if I should be proud of my procrastination skills or ashamed of my productivity avoidance.
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I don't know what's more exhausting: being in a meeting that could have been an email or reading the email that could have been a meeting.
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I don't know if I believe in marriage. But I do believe in infatuation that lasts longer than a day.
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I don't know if my neighbor is into astronomy, but his lights are on all night. I think he's more of a 'lights on, nobody's home' kind of guy.
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I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.' I don't know what she's talking about; I'm not paranoid!
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