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Pet Psychic
The absurdity of consulting psychics for pet-related issues
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I consulted a pet psychic about my goldfish. She said he's stressed because he wants a bigger bowl. Really? I'm pretty sure my goldfish is just stressed because he's a goldfish and has a memory span of about three seconds.
Dogs in the Park
Dogs trying to maintain their dignity in a chaotic dog park
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Ever notice how at the dog park, the small dogs always seem to have Napoleon complexes? My chihuahua barks at Great Danes like he's auditioning for a rap battle. Dude, you're five pounds; calm down.
Pet Store Adventures
The absurdity of buying gourmet food for pets
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Pet stores sell catnip bubbles now. Catnip bubbles! Because apparently, regular bubbles were too pedestrian for our feline friends. Now, every time I blow bubbles, my cat looks at me like, "Is this your attempt at entertainment or a failed science experiment?
Cat Ownership Woes
Cats demanding attention at inconvenient times
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Cats are the only creatures that can make a dramatic entrance into a room and then act like you're the one who interrupted their one-cat Broadway show. "Oh, were you trying to watch TV? I'm sorry, I thought this was MY living room.
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