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You ever think about dinosaurs? I mean, those massive creatures that used to roam the Earth. I read somewhere that they had brains the size of walnuts. Now, that explains a lot, doesn't it? Imagine a T-Rex trying to do calculus. It's like, "Uh, is this the square root of... oops, I just stepped on a triceratops." But seriously, what's the deal with naming them? Velociraptor? That sounds like a cross between a speedy lizard and a Terminator. I bet the other dinosaurs made fun of the Velociraptor at dino school. "Hey, speedy, slow down, we're just trying to graze in peace!
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Dating is tough, right? But imagine if we had to deal with the dating struggles of dinosaurs. I bet T-Rex had a hard time finding a soulmate. "Swipe right? I can't even swipe with these tiny arms! And if I try to hug you, I might crush you!" And then there's the pick-up lines. "Are you a meteor? Because you just rocked my world." I can't even imagine the dino Tinder bios. "Stegosaurus seeking a mate who can handle my spiked personality and doesn't mind a little tail in the relationship.
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Dinosaurs must have had family drama too, right? I can picture a dino mom yelling at her dino kids, "If you don't clean up your nest, I swear I'll ground you for a millennium! And stop playing with that meteor, it's not a toy!" And family reunions must have been awkward. "Oh, hey Aunt Pterodactyl, still flying high, I see. Uncle Triceratops, how's the horn? Still as sharp as ever?" I bet they had that one cousin who evolved into a bird and left the dino family WhatsApp group.
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I was thinking about the dino diet. You know how everyone is into the paleo diet these days? Well, dinosaurs were the original paleo dieters. I mean, they were literally eating everything raw! No cooking, no seasoning—just raw, prehistoric cuisine. Can you imagine a dino food critic? "Hmm, this triceratops tartare is a bit too gamey, and the sauropod sushi is a bit chewy." And don't get me started on the herbivores. "I'm on a plant-based diet, but these ferns are so last era. Do you have any organic, gluten-free palm fronds?
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