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Joke Types
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What do you get when you cross a Diablo with a comedian? A stand-up demon!
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Why did the Diablo bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to spice things up a level!
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Why did the Diablo become a stand-up comedian? It had a devilish sense of humor!
Haunted GPS
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I recently got a GPS with a Diablo-themed voice. It's like having Satan himself give me directions. In 666 feet, turn right onto Brimstone Boulevard. If I miss a turn, it doesn't reroute; it just says, Looks like you're on the highway to hell now. Enjoy the scenic route, sinner!
Haunted Dating App
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I tried a dating app for paranormal enthusiasts, and let me tell you, the profiles were wild. One guy claimed to be possessed by the spirit of Diablo himself. I thought, Great, I've always wanted a relationship with a demonic entity. Swipe right for eternal damnation!
Gaming with Grandma
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I convinced my grandma to play Diablo with me, thinking it would be a cute bonding experience. Little did I know, she created a character named GrannyReaper and started wreaking havoc in the virtual world. Now, I can't tell if she's casting spells or just yelling at the screen for the monsters to get off her lawn.
Haunted House Hunting
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I was house hunting recently, and I found this amazing place. The only catch? It's haunted by the ghost of a Diablo player who never made it past level one. Now, every night, I hear the faint sounds of furious clicking and frustrated exclamations of Why won't you die, skeleton? Scariest haunting ever!
Demonic Customer Service
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I called customer service the other day, and I swear they must be trained by the minions of Diablo. The hold music was just a loop of ominous chanting, and every time I asked a question, they responded with, Your call is important to us, but your soul is even more valuable.
Infernal Traffic Jams
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Traffic in this city is like the nine circles of hell, and I'm convinced the devil himself designed the road system. You try merging into the left lane, and suddenly it's like trying to negotiate with a demon for the last parking space. No, you go ahead...no, after you...oh, come on, just take my soul and pass already!
Hell's Kitchen Adventures
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I tried cooking a recipe from a Diablo-themed cookbook, and let me tell you, the ingredient list included things like dragon scales and phoenix feathers. I had to settle for chicken and paprika. Close enough, right? My taste buds weren't convinced; they were expecting the fires of hell, not a mild seasoning.
Demon Barber Dilemma
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I went to this new barber, and he asked me, How do you want your hair? I said, Like I just survived a battle in the depths of Diablo. Now, I look like a cross between a warrior and someone who's been electrocuted. At least I'm ready for any random encounters with goblins in the grocery store.
The Devil Wears Prada... Literally
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I saw someone wearing a shirt that said, I went to hell and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. I thought, Wow, must have been a bargain. When I went to hell, they charged me an arm and a leg, literally. And no t-shirt, just a 'Welcome to Eternal Torment' pamphlet.
Devilish Diets
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You know, I've been trying out this new diet called Diablo. It's fantastic! The first week, I lost my soul, and by the second week, I was down to just a pitchfork and a fiery attitude. Who needs a summer beach body when you can have an eternal inferno physique?
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