5 Jokes For Death Threat

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jun 22 2025

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The Hypochondriac

Convinced every cough and sneeze is a sign of impending doom.
My doctor told me laughter is the best medicine. I asked him if that includes laughing at my own funeral because I just stubbed my toe.

The Action Movie Protagonist

Believing life is an action movie, and every mundane task is a potential life-or-death situation.
Last week, I changed a light bulb and imagined a slow-motion explosion in the background. My neighbors were just watching TV, but I felt like I'd just saved the world from darkness.

The Conspiracy Theorist

Believing that the government, aliens, or the Illuminati are secretly plotting your demise.
I joined a secret society once, but then they started sending me newsletters with my horoscope and coupons for discounted coffins. I thought, "Maybe too secret?

The Paranoid Person

Constantly interpreting harmless situations as potential death threats.
My friends threw me a surprise party once. I walked in, saw the dark room, and immediately thought, "This is it. This is how it ends. Surrounded by balloons and confetti.

The Superstitious Soul

Believing every black cat, broken mirror, or spilled salt is a direct invitation for a cosmic hitman.
I spilled salt yesterday, and I'm pretty sure the grains formed the word "BOO!" Death by seasoning, who knew?

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