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Ever notice how women can multitask like they're in a secret club? They're on the phone, cooking dinner, giving directions, and solving world peace all at once. Meanwhile, I can't even find matching socks in the morning.
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You ever notice how women have this sixth sense when it comes to finding a lost earring? I mean, I can't find my car keys when they're right in front of me, but she'll spot a tiny earring under the couch from across the room and be like, "Ah-ha! Found it!
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Women and their obsession with scented candles. I mean, I get it, a nice aroma can set a mood. But after a while, it feels like you're living in a gingerbread house, and I'm just waiting for the witch to jump out.
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Have you ever tried to surprise a woman? Good luck. They have a radar for secrets that's better than any spy agency. I once tried to surprise my girlfriend with a weekend getaway, and she already had a bag packed. She said it was for "just in case.
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Ladies, why is it that when you ask a woman how old she thinks she looks, she'll shave off a decade? I'm just waiting for the day when someone says, "Oh, me? I'm -10 years old. I haven't been born yet.
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Why is it that when a woman says she'll be ready in five minutes, it's like entering a time warp? I've seen entire seasons of TV shows in less time. Five minutes turns into an hour, and suddenly I've aged another year waiting by the door.
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You know you're dating a woman when your closet space goes from 50% to 5% overnight. Suddenly, your favorite shirt is "borrowed," and your side of the dresser becomes a small corner next to her extensive shoe collection.
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Women and their handbags, right? It's like Mary Poppins meets a survivalist. You think you're grabbing a phone, and you end up pulling out a granola bar, a mini umbrella, and a small petting zoo.
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Have you ever tried picking a restaurant with a woman? It's like playing a game of culinary roulette, where every option is wrong until it's the exact one she was thinking of, but didn't say.
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