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Cupping feels like a science experiment gone wrong. You're there lying down, thinking, "I hope this doesn't end up on a Discovery Channel special: 'The Human Vacuum Cleaner.'
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Cupping is proof that if something's been around for centuries, it gets a free pass. If I slapped suction cups on my back and said it's an ancient tradition, I'd get weird looks. But when a wellness guru does it, suddenly it's all the rage!
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Cupping is like wearing a temporary tattoo, but instead of a cool design, you get abstract circles. It's like the universe's way of saying, "You wanted body art? Here, have some polka dots!
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Cupping is that thing you do for wellness that makes you simultaneously proud and embarrassed to take your shirt off at the beach. "Yeah, I'm healthy, but let's pretend the polka dots are a new fashion statement!
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Cupping is like the ancient version of those vacuum-sealed storage bags. Except instead of compressing your winter clothes, you're vacuum-sealing your muscles. And your friends' reactions are pretty much the same: "Wait, you did what now?
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Cupping's like a Rorschach test for your skin. You end up with inkblot patterns that could inspire a whole new line of avant-garde fashion. "Yes, I'm sporting the Cupping Couture Collection, darling!
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You know, cupping is like the weird cousin of massages. It's that one family member showing up uninvited, leaving bizarre marks, and making you explain to everyone, "No, no, I didn't wrestle an octopus. It's just a wellness thing!
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Cupping's the only time you pay someone to give you circles. You leave the spa resembling a connect-the-dots masterpiece. Maybe I'll start charging for my accidental art projects too!
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Cupping: because who needs expensive jewelry when you can wear the marks of alternative medicine proudly? "Oh, these circles? They're the latest accessory in wellness chic!
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