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Cryogenic dating must be a nightmare. Imagine meeting someone after being frozen for centuries and trying to explain why you still have your high school yearbook in your pocket.
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I'm imagining a cryogenic support group in the future. They sit around and share stories like, "Yeah, woke up in 2342, and the Wi-Fi still sucks. Some things never change, huh?
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They say cryogenic freezing pauses the aging process. So, technically, you could wake up in the future looking like a 25-year-old and with the fashion sense of a time-traveling grandparent.
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So, cryogenic freezing is like the ultimate backup plan, right? You mess up in life, make some bad decisions, and instead of facing the consequences, you're like, "Just toss me in the freezer, I'll deal with this mess in a few centuries!
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Cryogenic freezing is the ultimate excuse for procrastinators. "I'll deal with my problems later, when they have better technology and flying cars. Until then, freeze me, Scotty!
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I wonder if cryogenic companies offer a "freeze now, pay later" plan. It's like, "Don't worry about the bill; your great-great-grandkids can handle it. They'll probably have Bitcoin or something.
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I bet there's a cryogenic version of Tinder in the future – swipe right if you're defrostable and ready to mingle. And imagine the pickup lines: "Are you from the past? Because you just thawed my heart.
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I thought about signing up for cryogenic freezing, but then I realized my frozen self might wake up in a world where pineapple on pizza is a crime. I can't take that risk!
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Do you think there's a cryogenic customer service line? You call, and they're like, "Thank you for choosing Eternal Ice Solutions. Your estimated thawing time is 257 years. Please hold for the next available operator.
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