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Why did the crocodile become a banker? It wanted to make a lot of 'snap' investments!
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Why did the crocodile bring a suitcase to the party? Because he wanted to look sharp!
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What's a crocodile's favorite subject in school? History, because it has a lot of 'bite'!
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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a computer? A lot of biting humor!
Crocodile Tears and Romantic Movies
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You know, my ex used to cry a lot during romantic movies. I told her those were some impressive crocodile tears. Turns out, she took it literally and got me a pet crocodile. Now, every time I want to watch a chick flick, I have to wrestle with a reptile on the couch.
Crocodile Gym Buddies
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I decided to get in shape, so I joined a gym. There's this guy there who takes his workout very seriously. I asked him for some tips, and he said, Train like a crocodile, always be ready for a quick snack. Now, I spend half my time doing push-ups and the other half trying to outrun my gym buddies.
Crocodile Networking
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I attended a networking event with a crocodile. People were avoiding me like the plague. I guess they weren't ready for a 'snappy' conversation. But hey, at least my social circle has a killer instinct now.
Crocodile Cuisine
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I tried cooking a crocodile for the first time. It was a real challenge. I mean, how do you marinate a reptile? I asked the chef for advice, and he said, Just add some tears for flavor. Now I have a marinade that's both flavorful and emotionally complex.
Crocodile in the Job Interview
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I brought a crocodile to a job interview. The interviewer asked, Why do you have a crocodile with you? I replied, I wanted to show my ability to handle pressure situations. Needless to say, I didn't get the job, but at least I got a great story for my next stand-up gig.
Crocodile at the Wedding
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I went to a wedding, and they had a crocodile as the ring bearer. It was a unique idea until the crocodile decided to do a death roll with the rings. Let's just say the bride wasn't the only one shedding tears at that ceremony.
Crocodile Karaoke
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I went to a karaoke bar, and there was a guy singing with a crocodile on his shoulder. I thought, Wow, that's one way to get the audience's attention. But then the crocodile started doing backup vocals. Now that's what I call a reptile harmony.
Crocodile in Traffic
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I saw a guy in traffic with a crocodile in the back seat. I thought, Either he's a zookeeper or he's taking 'carpool' to a whole new level. Imagine getting pulled over for a traffic violation, and the cop asks, Do you know why I stopped you? and you respond with, Yeah, officer, my crocodile was speeding.
Crocodile as a Therapist
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I thought I needed therapy, so I got a crocodile as my therapist. Now, instead of discussing my problems, we just sit in awkward silence. But hey, at least my therapy sessions are a real jaw-dropper.
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