19 Jokes For Confess

Puns

Updated on: Feb 28 2025

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Why did the tomato go to therapy? It had too many issues and needed to ketchup on its mental health!
Why did the bicycle go to therapy? It wanted to confess its issues with its chain of thought!
Why did the pencil confess to feeling blue? It was feeling a bit sketchy!
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired of keeping its feelings to itself and needed to confess!
Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage to process!
Why did the tomato turn red? It couldn't ketchup with its feelings and had to confess!
My friend told me he's planning to become a baker. I had to confess, I kneaded that information!
Why did the scarecrow confess his feelings? He was outstanding in his field!
Why did the math book confess to feeling anxious? Too many problems!

Confessing to My Fridge

I recently started confessing to my refrigerator. I open the door and go, Okay, listen, I ate your last slice of cheesecake. I'm sorry, but it was just too tempting. You understand, right? Now I'm waiting for the day it talks back and says, Don't worry, I've been stealing your energy for years.

Confessions in a Relationship

In relationships, they say honesty is the key. So, I decided to confess everything to my partner. I told her about the time I finished the last of the ice cream. She was cool until I confessed to finishing the entire season of our favorite show without her. That was a Netflix no-no.

Confessions of a Serial Apologizer

You know, I've realized I have a unique talent. I can confess to things I didn't even do. The other day, I confessed to my cat for knocking over a plant. I said, Buddy, I did it. It was me. I can't believe I knocked it over with my invisible tail. He just stared at me, probably thinking, This guy needs help.

Apologies to Siri

I accidentally bumped into my phone, and Siri activated. So, I apologized to Siri, saying, Sorry, Siri, I didn't mean to disturb you. Then she replied, No problem, but just so you know, I have a mute button. Even my phone is giving me the silent treatment.

Confessions at the Gym

I'm even confessing at the gym now. I drop a weight, and I look at it like, I confess, I didn't mean to let you go. It's just gravity playing hard to get. You know how it is. I'm expecting dumbbells to file restraining orders against me.

Apologies to Inanimate Objects

I'm so good at confessing, I've started apologizing to inanimate objects. The other day, I bumped into a chair, and I was like, I'm sorry, Chair. It's not you; it's me. I'm just a klutz. We should see other seating arrangements.

Confessions in Traffic

Confessing has become a coping mechanism for me, especially in traffic. I'll roll down my window and shout, I'm sorry for cutting you off, but in my defense, my car has this superpower called 'running late.' It's not my fault; it's the car's fault!

Apologizing for Apologizing

I've reached a point where I'm apologizing for apologizing. Someone bumped into me, and I said sorry. They looked confused, so I apologized again for saying sorry too much. It's a sorry state of affairs.

Apologizing to the Universe

I've taken it to the next level—I'm apologizing to the universe. Every time something goes wrong, I look up and say, My bad, universe. I know you have a lot on your plate—black holes, galaxies, and now my misplaced car keys. Sorry for adding to your workload. I hope the universe has a forgiving sense of humor.

Apology Anonymous

I'm thinking of starting a support group called Apology Anonymous. We'd meet and take turns apologizing for things we haven't even done. It's like group therapy for guilty imaginations. Hi, I'm Dave, and I'm sorry for the dinosaur extinction. My bad.

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