10 Jokes For Collateral

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jun 19 2025

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Collateral is like that friend who promises to pay you back next week, but you end up reminding them every month.
I find it amusing how in movies, people hand over a precious family heirloom as collateral, but in real life, it's usually that dusty old treadmill they never use.
Isn't it funny how banks talk about collateral as if it's just another item on a grocery list? "Oh, you want a loan? Just bring in your house papers, car keys, and maybe your grandma's secret cookie recipe.
Collateral is basically like that security blanket you had as a kid. Except, instead of providing comfort, it gives bankers a sense of security while they lend you money.
Isn't it ironic how collateral, which is supposed to make lenders feel secure, often ends up stressing borrowers out more than the actual loan itself? It's like, "Sure, take my car, but please don't make me regret this decision every time I hear a car horn.
You ever notice how collateral is just a fancy way of saying, "I trust you, but not that much"?
Collateral is the adult version of "I'll give you my lunch if you lend me that pencil." Except now, it's your house instead of a sandwich.
I tried explaining collateral to my grandma once. She looked at me, puzzled, and said, "Back in my day, a handshake was enough." Oh, how times have changed, grandma. Now it's all about paperwork and fine print.
Collateral makes you realize the true value of your belongings. I mean, have you ever looked at your old toaster and thought, "Hmm, if I pawn this, maybe I can get that dream vacation?
You know you're in the adult world when you're discussing mortgages and suddenly someone casually mentions, "Oh, it's just a matter of putting up some collateral." Like, great, let me just fetch my first-born child.

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