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I brought my clover to work, thinking it would boost my luck in the office. My boss walks by and says, "What's that?" I tell him it's my lucky clover. He looks at me and says, "We need results, not plants." I'm thinking, "Well, excuse me for trying to create a positive work environment!" And speaking of work, have you ever noticed how the printer always jams when you're in a rush? It's like the printer has a sixth sense for when you're already late for a meeting. I'm there smacking the side of the printer like it owes me money, thinking, "Come on, I just need one page!
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I thought maybe the clover could help with my love life. I took it on a date – yes, I took a plant on a date. The waiter comes over and asks if we're ready to order. I point to the clover and say, "He'll have the salad." The date didn't go well. Turns out, not everyone appreciates horticultural humor. And then there's online dating. I matched with someone, and their profile said, "Looking for someone with a green thumb." I thought I hit the jackpot. So, I show up with my lucky clover, and they're like, "I meant gardening, not bringing a potted plant to a date!
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You ever notice how people talk about luck, and they're always like, "I found a four-leaf clover, and now everything's going my way!" Well, I found a clover the other day, but it had like seven leaves. I didn't know whether to make a wish or start a salad! I'm standing there thinking, "Is this lucky or did I just discover a mutant vegetable?" And what's with the whole luck thing anyway? I tried to test my luck once, bought a lottery ticket. I scratched it off, and it said, "Better luck next time." I'm thinking, "Isn't that the whole point of the lottery? Next time? There's always a next time. I didn't need a ticket to tell me that!
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So, I tried planting my clover to see if it would bring me more luck. I watered it, talked to it, even played some soothing music. But instead of good luck, it attracted a bunch of rabbits. I'm thinking, "I didn't want a wildlife sanctuary; I wanted a lucky charm!" And don't get me started on those superstitions about black cats crossing your path. I had a black cat cross my path once, and I adopted it. Now I have a furry roommate who thinks knocking things off shelves is a fun game. Lucky me!
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