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Class president speeches were like the origin story for future politicians. "I may be running for class president now, but just wait until I'm running the country!" Spoiler alert: most of them ended up running late to class.
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Class president campaigns were the only time you saw teenagers passionately arguing about the issues. "We need more field trips!" "No, we need better bathroom stalls!" It's like a preview of democracy, where the debates are about the important stuff – at least for high schoolers.
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You know, class president speeches in high school were like mini political campaigns. They promised shorter lunch lines and more vending machines, as if they had the power to magically conjure snacks. I never saw a candidate deliver on the promise of unlimited Doritos.
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The class president speeches were basically the first lesson in adulting. They prepared us for a lifetime of politicians making promises they can't keep. "Free ice cream for everyone!" Yeah, sure, just like free Wi-Fi on airplanes.
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Remember when the class president promised longer recess? Yeah, right after that, we got a memo that the school day was extended by 15 minutes. I guess longer recess meant more time to dream about recess.
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Class president elections were the only time I felt the pressure of being a swing voter. One candidate promised better cafeteria food, and the other promised more extracurricular activities. I was torn between better lunch or avoiding homework.
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Class president speeches were basically a contest of who could promise the most unrealistic things with a straight face. "If elected, I will make sure homework is banned, and every day will be Pizza Friday!" Yeah, right, buddy. I've been in this school for years; I know how it works.
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You could always tell when a class president candidate was desperate for votes. They'd start promising things that had nothing to do with school. "Vote for me, and I'll make weekends longer!" Nice try, but I need someone who can negotiate with the math teacher about my grades.
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Class president speeches were like the Olympics of exaggeration. One candidate claimed they could make sure everyone got straight A's. I was just hoping they could help me find my locker.
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