4 Jokes For Christmas Song

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 23 2024

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Let's talk about "Santa Baby" for a moment. I can't be the only one who finds that song a little... awkward, right? I mean, Eartha Kitt is practically asking Santa for a yacht, a platinum mine, and the deed to a duplex. It's like, "Santa, baby, slip a sable under the tree for me... and while you're at it, how about a lifetime supply of free Wi-Fi?"
I don't know about you, but my Christmas list growing up was a little more realistic. It was like, "Dear Santa, I've been kind of good this year. Can I get a new video game and maybe some socks?" I never thought to ask for a convertible or a Tiffany's store credit. Maybe I was just aiming too low.
Can we talk about how the sound of jingling bells has become the unofficial soundtrack of Christmas? I feel like I'm living in a world where Santa's sleigh is stuck in perpetual rush-hour traffic. Everywhere you go, it's jingle bells on the door, jingle bells on the tree, jingle bells on your grandma's sweater. It's like we're all trying to one-up each other in the Jingle Bell Olympics.
And why do we associate bells with Christmas anyway? Did Santa start the trend to let everyone know he was coming to town, or did he just lose a bet with the elves? I can picture it now, Santa sitting in his workshop, surrounded by elves pointing and giggling, saying, "Hey, Santa, bet you can't make the whole world obsessed with jingling bells!" And Santa, being the good sport that he is, accepted the challenge.
You know, Christmas caroling used to be a quaint neighborhood tradition. But now, with the rise of social media, it's turned into a full-blown competition. People aren't just singing carols; they're putting on Broadway-worthy productions in their front yards. Lights, costumes, and choreography that would make a Rockette jealous.
And then there's that one neighbor who thinks they're auditioning for "The Voice" instead of spreading holiday cheer. They hit those high notes like Mariah Carey on steroids, leaving the rest of us mortals to mumble our way through "Jingle Bells." It's like a Christmas karaoke nightmare.
Maybe we should have a reality show called "Caroling Wars." Contestants battle it out with their best renditions of "Silent Night," and the winner gets the coveted title of "Caroling King" or "Caroling Queen." I can already see the drama unfolding - alliances forming, strategic song choices, and maybe even a scandal involving too much eggnog backstage.
You ever notice how Christmas songs play on a loop during the holidays? I mean, I love a good festive tune as much as the next person, but there's this one Christmas song that haunts me every year. You know the one. The song that's like an unwelcome guest that just won't leave your party - "Last Christmas" by Wham!
I swear, George Michael's voice comes on, and suddenly I'm transported to a world of heartbreak and regret. It's like the Ghost of Christmas Past decided to set up camp in my living room. And don't even get me started on the lyrics - "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day, you gave it away." Really? A 24-hour turnaround on heartbreak? That's efficiency!
I can't be the only one who's had enough of this musical reminder of failed relationships. Maybe we should start a support group - "Survivors of the 'Last Christmas' Club." We can meet in a room with padded walls and just scream-sing the chorus until the pain subsides.

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