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Cameramen have this mysterious ability to stay completely silent for hours. It's like they're part of some secret ninja club. I asked one once how they do it, and he just stared at me, silently, of course. It was like I was being interviewed by the CIA.
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Cameramen have this poker face that's unmatched. You could be delivering the most mind-blowing speech, and they'll be there, expressionless, capturing it all. It's like having your personal documentary directed by a robot. "And here we see the subject attempting humor. Note the lack of audience response.
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Cameramen are like human tripods with a zoom lens. They can spot drama from a mile away. If there's a heated argument across the street, they're already there, capturing it in cinematic glory. It's like having your personal reality show without signing up for one.
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You know you've made it in life when a cameraman follows you around. Or you're a suspect in a crime. It's a fine line, really. Either way, someone thinks your every move is worth documenting.
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Cameramen love to use those big, fancy tripods. I asked one why they need such a massive tripod, and he said, "It's all about stability." I mean, if I had to carry that thing around all day, I'd need some stability too – emotionally and physically.
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You ever try to have a serious conversation with a cameraman while they're working? It's impossible. They're always crouched down, looking through the viewfinder, and you're standing there like, "Am I talking to you or your camera?" I guess the camera gets priority in the conversation.
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I asked a cameraman once if they ever get bored filming the same thing over and over. He said, "Nah, every shot is like a little story." Well, buddy, if my life is a story, it's a sitcom – short, funny, and sometimes painfully awkward.
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Cameramen are the only people who can make standing still for hours look like an Olympic sport. I tried it once, and after five minutes, I felt like I deserved a gold medal in the "Not Tripping Over My Own Feet" category.
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Have you ever noticed how cameramen always manage to find the most creative angles? I mean, I thought I looked good, but apparently, I look even better when you can only see half of my face. Thanks, cameraman, for turning me into a living Picasso painting.
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Have you ever seen a cameraman during a wedding? They're like stealthy paparazzi, capturing every moment. I bet they secretly compete to see who can get the most emotional shot. "Oh, you got a tearful vow exchange? Well, I got the bride's grandma doing the worm on the dance floor.
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