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Why did the stockbroker bring a pillow to the business dinner? Because he wanted to dream about a bull market!
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Why did the entrepreneur bring a suitcase to the business dinner? He wanted to make a briefcase!
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Why did the businessman bring a ladder to the business dinner? He heard the stakes were high!
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Why did the accountant bring a pencil to the business dinner? Just in case they needed to draw some conclusions!
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Why did the CEO bring a map to the business dinner? To navigate the choppy waters of corporate soup!
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Why did the business magnate invest in a restaurant? He wanted a taste of success!
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Why do business dinners always have the best conversations? Because they're well-versed in mergers and acquisitions!
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Why did the entrepreneur become a comedian? He wanted to turn his business pitches into punchlines!
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Why did the office supplies attend the business dinner? They heard it was a stationery affair!
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Business dinners are the only place where 'networking' is a euphemism for 'awkwardly balancing a plate while trying not to spill secrets on your tie.'
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I attended a business dinner with a vegetarian colleague. It was like bringing a priest to a heavy metal concert. They looked at the menu and said, 'I'll just have a salad.' And I thought, 'Well, that's a missed steak.'
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You ever notice how the guy who orders the most expensive wine at a business dinner is also the one who volunteers you for the karaoke duet later? 'Cheers to poor life choices, and now let's murder a classic.'
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Business dinners are like Tinder for introverts. You swipe right on the steak, left on small talk, and hope you don't get unmatched with indigestion later.
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I always bring a notepad to business dinners. Not for taking notes but for doodling. It's my way of turning a corporate meeting into a modern art masterpiece. I call it 'Stress on a Plate.'
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I went to a business dinner last week, and they served a dish I couldn't pronounce. I felt like I was playing Scrabble with my food. I was just hoping not to land on a Q without a U.
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At business dinners, they always put the most talkative person next to you. It's like they're trying to set you up for a TED Talk you never signed up for. 'Welcome to TEDxSteakhouse, where the only thing well-done is the PowerPoint.'
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You know you're at a fancy business dinner when the menu has more pages than your last PowerPoint presentation. I was half expecting a footnote about the chef's childhood and a bibliography for the ingredients.
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I went to a business dinner that had a 'no phones' policy. I felt like I was in a support group for smartphone addicts. 'Hi, my name is Dave, and I haven't checked Twitter in 10 minutes.'
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