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Why did the Blade Runner open a sushi restaurant? He wanted to work with cutting-edge fish!
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Why did the Blade Runner become a hairdresser? He wanted to give people cutting-edge hairstyles!
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Why did the Blade Runner start a bakery? He wanted to make the best replicant croissants in town!
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Why did the Blade Runner apply for a job as a chef? He wanted to chop it like it's hot!
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Why did the Blade Runner become a musician? He wanted to play cutting-edge beats!
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Why did the Blade Runner start a garden? He wanted to experience cutting-edge technology!
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Why did the Blade Runner become a gardener? He heard it was a cutting-edge profession!
Blade Runner
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In Blade Runner, they have these Voight-Kampff tests to determine if someone is a replicant. I need one of those for my friends. Are you secretly a robot who only calls me when you need help moving? Because I'm starting to feel used here.
Blade Runner
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Blade Runner explores the morality of creating beings with artificial intelligence. Meanwhile, I'm over here arguing with my smart home device because it can't understand my accent. No, Alexa, I said play '80s hits,' not '80s pits.' We're not diving into a vintage armpit playlist tonight.
Blade Runner
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You ever notice how in Blade Runner, the streets are always wet and it's constantly raining? I bet even the robots carry umbrellas. It's like, I might be an advanced artificial being, but I'm not risking a short circuit for fashion. Let's not electrocute ourselves just to look cool, okay?
Blade Runner
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You ever notice how in Blade Runner, they have these incredibly advanced robots that are virtually indistinguishable from humans? I mean, I can't even get my GPS to give me accurate directions half the time. Imagine getting lost with a replicant – Turn left at the next intersection, unless you're a rogue android trying to escape your destiny, then make a U-turn.
Blade Runner
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Blade Runner makes you question the nature of humanity and artificial life. I question the nature of my refrigerator. I mean, is that yogurt still good, or has it evolved into a sentient being by now? If my leftovers start quoting Shakespeare, I'm out.
Blade Runner
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Blade Runner is set in a dystopian future where artificial intelligence is so advanced that it's hard to tell who's human and who's a robot. I struggle with that in real life too, especially at family gatherings. Is that my cousin or the latest model of the Terminator? I can never be too sure.
Blade Runner
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Blade Runner is all about the ethical implications of creating artificial life. Meanwhile, I'm here struggling to keep my houseplants alive. If I can't handle the responsibility of a succulent, I'm definitely not ready for a robot with emotional baggage and existential crises.
Blade Runner
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You ever notice how in Blade Runner, they have these futuristic weapons and gadgets? I can't even figure out how to use the self-checkout at the grocery store without causing a scene. Unexpected item in the bagging area is the last thing you want to hear when you're buying adult diapers.
Blade Runner
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Blade Runner has these breathtaking cityscapes with giant neon billboards. The only neon I have in my life is the 'Open' sign at the local 24-hour taco joint. It's less futuristic and more like, Is it really a good idea to eat tacos at 3 AM? Absolutely!
Blade Runner
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In Blade Runner, they have these flying cars zipping around the city. Meanwhile, I'm stuck in traffic on the ground, thinking, Hey, where's my flying car? I've been promised flying cars for years, and the only thing flying around here is my patience when I'm stuck in rush hour.
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