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The Dog Trainer
Teaching manners to beastie dogs
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Teaching a dog to roll over is a breeze, but explaining the difference between the expensive and cheap dog treats? That's a philosophical discussion that even Plato would avoid. "Listen, Max, just because it's bacon-flavored doesn't mean it's worth your entire allowance.
The Beastie Whisperer
Navigating the challenges of understanding mythical beasties
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Trying to negotiate with a griffin about not leaving feathers all over the place is a challenge. I said, "Look, I get it, you're majestic, but I can't vacuum every five minutes. Can we compromise on a shedding schedule?
The Pet Psychic
Understanding the inner thoughts of beasties
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I spoke to a parrot who kept saying, "I know something you don't know." Turns out, he was just messing with me. I felt like I was in a feathered episode of a mystery podcast. "Alright, Polly, spill the beans or stick to pirate impressions.
The Veterinarian
Dealing with unruly beastie patients
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The other day, I had a parrot visit the clinic. It kept imitating the sound of the cash register. I thought, "Great, now I have a bird with expensive taste. Someone's been hanging out in the luxury pet food aisle too much.
The Zookeeper
Handling the chaos of beasties in the zoo
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The other day, I caught a group of monkeys having a party with stolen sunglasses from the gift shop. I tried to intervene, and they just threw bananas at me. Who knew primates had such a sense of fashion? "Well, at least they're eating healthy snacks while causing mayhem.
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