4 Jokes About Avengers

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Apr 24 2025

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You ever notice how the Avengers are like the ultimate workplace, but with way more explosions? I mean, they're always assembling like they're on a cosmic assembly line. "Avengers, assemble!" It's like a superhero HR manager screaming for a team meeting. I imagine Captain America at the front of the room with a whiteboard, listing all the impending disasters like they're items on a to-do list.
"Alright, team, first order of business: alien invasion at 2 PM. Thor, you handle the lightning; Hulk, just... be angry. Iron Man, upgrade the suits. And Black Widow, maybe consider a more comfortable uniform? We're fighting, not hitting the runway."
I can just picture Spider-Man swinging in late, apologizing like, "Sorry, guys, got caught in traffic—well, not traffic, but you know, webs are tricky." And poor Hawkeye, the guy with the bow and arrows. In a world with gods and super soldiers, he's the dude who brings a bow to a laser fight. "I've got this, guys, just need a moment to aim... and shoot. Oh, they moved. Never mind.
You ever think about the Avengers from an HR perspective? I mean, they must have the worst employee retention rate ever. You join the team, excited to save the world, and the next thing you know, you're either dead, retired, or turning into a bad guy.
HR Manager: "Yeah, we're looking for someone with at least five years of superhero experience."
Applicant: "But I just got my powers last week."
HR Manager: "Sorry, kid, try the X-Men. They're always hiring."
And what's the deal with superhero benefits? Do they get dental coverage? I can just see Iron Man filing an insurance claim for a damaged suit: "Yeah, a giant alien stepped on it. No, it wasn't a pre-existing condition, it was an extraterrestrial one.
The Avengers are like the ultimate squad goals, right? But I bet they have their issues too. Can you imagine their group chats?
Captain America: "Guys, assemble at 8 AM tomorrow. We've got a world-ending crisis."
Thor: "Can it wait? I have a date with Jane Foster."
Hulk: "Hulk not a morning person. Hulk smash alarm clock."
And poor Black Widow, trying to keep the peace: "Can we all just get along? Tony, stop sending memes during serious discussions. And Thor, no more leaving your hammer in the living room. It's a tripping hazard!"
It's like a dysfunctional family, but with more spandex and fewer family dinners. "Pass the salt, Hulk. No, not the whole shaker!
Have you ever wondered if the Avengers have group therapy sessions? I mean, they've been through so much together—alien invasions, evil robots, and let's not even talk about Civil War. I can imagine them sitting in a circle, taking turns sharing their feelings.
Thor: "Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one who understands the burden of being a god."
Hulk, angrily squeezing a stress ball: "Hulk just wants to be left alone, but no, always smashing this and smashing that."
Iron Man, sipping a latte: "You know, it's hard being a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. People just don't get the struggle."
And poor Hawkeye, looking around: "Am I in the right therapy group? I shoot arrows, guys. Arrows!

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