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You ever try explaining technology to your aunt? It's like trying to teach a cat to do calculus. I showed her how to use emojis, and now every text I get from her looks like a modern-day hieroglyphic puzzle. I received one the other day that had a thumbs up, a cat, and a frying pan. I had to call her and play emoji charades just to figure out she was making lasagna for dinner and her cat learned a new trick. It's like deciphering the Da Vinci Code every time she sends a text. And don't get me started on video calls. It's a comedy of errors. She always manages to angle the camera in a way that only captures half of her face. So, our video calls essentially turn into a guessing game of "What's Aunt Hiding Behind Today?" Last time, it was a plant. I spent 10 minutes talking to a ficus, thinking it was her.
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You know, I recently visited my aunt's place, and let me tell you, it's like stepping into a parallel universe. She's got this pet parrot that only speaks in Shakespearean English. I mean, who knew parrots were such fans of the Bard? Every morning, I wake up to the sound of "To be or not to be, that is the question," and I'm just like, "Can I at least have my coffee before contemplating the existential nature of life?" And then there's her cooking. Bless her heart, but her idea of a gourmet meal involves combining ingredients that have never met in the history of culinary arts. Last time, she proudly served me spaghetti with peanut butter and pickles. I took a bite and thought, "Well, at least it's an adventure for my taste buds. Who needs boring old traditional meals anyway?
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So, my aunt joined social media recently, and it's been a rollercoaster of cringe-worthy moments. She discovered hashtags and decided to hashtag everything in her posts. I'm talking about hashtags like #CookingAdventures, #TechGuru, and my personal favorite, #UnicornVomitLivingRoom. I have friends asking me if my aunt is trying to start a new trend or if she's just really into abstract expressionism. And let's not forget her use of emojis on social media. She commented on my profile picture with five heart emojis, three crying faces, and a thumbs up. I had to call her and ask if she accidentally sat on her phone. Turns out, she was just expressing her emotions in the most emoji-packed way possible.
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My aunt fancies herself as a DIY expert. She decided to repaint her living room and invited me to help. Now, I'm no Picasso, but I can handle a paint roller. Little did I know, she had a grand vision that involved abstract art meets psychedelic explosion. We ended up with a room that looked like a unicorn threw up rainbows all over it. But the real kicker was when she tried to assemble a new bookshelf. The instruction manual might as well have been written in ancient Sanskrit. We spent hours trying to decipher it, and in the end, we had a bookshelf that leaned so much it looked like it was doing the cha-cha. Forget about putting books on it; we were just hoping it wouldn't collapse under the weight of its own confusion.
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