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Why did the tree bring a suitcase? It wanted to pack its trunk and leaf town!
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What did the tree say to the wind during a storm? You really need to leaf me alone!
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What did one tree say to the other during a storm? Hold on to your bark, it's going to be a wild ride!
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I asked my dad for advice on growing a garden. He said, 'Son, you need patience, love, and a green thumb.' I thought he said 'green thumb,' but it turns out, he said 'green arbor.' No wonder my tomato plants are confused.
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I decided to get in shape by doing tree yoga. You know, striking poses around my favorite arbor. The tree didn't seem impressed, but the squirrels were thoroughly entertained.
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My girlfriend accused me of loving my garden more than her. I said, 'That's not true, babe. I love you just as much as my arbor.' Now, I'm single, but my ficus is thriving.
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I tried to bond with my neighbor over our love for trees. I said, 'I've always had a thing for arbors.' He looked at me strangely and said, 'This is suburbia, not Middle Earth. We just call them trees here.'
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I tried to impress my date with some arbor-related poetry. I said, 'Roses are red, violets are blue, an arbor is great, and so are you.' She responded with, 'That's not poetry, that's just naming things.' Well, I guess I'm more of a plant catalog than a poet.
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I asked my friend why he spends so much time in his backyard. He said, 'I'm cultivating my arbor of wisdom.' I thought he was meditating, turns out, he's just talking to his plants. His tomato plant is now his therapist.
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You ever notice how confident lumberjacks are? They're basically tree barbers. 'Oh, this arbor needs a little off the top.' If only my haircuts were as stress-relieving as theirs.
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Arbor, you know you're an adult when you get excited about a new tree in your neighborhood. 'Oh, they planted a new arbor? Well, looks like it's time to join the local tree appreciation club!'
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I recently tried to impress my date with some tree knowledge. I pointed at an oak and confidently said, 'That's a majestic arbor right there.' She replied, 'That's a bush.' Well, I guess I need to enroll in Tree 101.
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